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I know, I know. My ROW80 update was supposed to have been yesterday. The fact that it’s a day behind should give you a pretty good sign of how my week went.

It sucked.

Plain and simple. No joking around, no exaggerations. It went spiraling down the drain like water during a shower. And you know what the absolute worst part of it is? I don’t even have a valid reason as to why.

I mean I could say that it was because I’m still battling this stupid cold and still have a sinus infection. (Well, had a sinus infection – the doctor and some more antibiotics are taking care of that!) Both of which were draining my energy and making it very hard to sleep at night.

Or I could say that I’m having trouble concentrating because my puppy has decided that it wants to bark at every single sound it hears and he’s going through adolescence. For those of you who aren’t sure what puppy adolescence means, think teenage phase when they buck against your every rule. At least teenagers can understand my lectures – they may not listen but they understand. The puppy – um yeah, not so much.

Or I could say that my house was in dire need of some attention. The dishes were planning another revolt in the kitchen and this time they were recruiting dust bunnies. I had to put an end to the rebellion or risk being overthrown.

Or… yeah, I could say a lot of things. But let’s be real here. It would all be excuses. Though all the above is actually true, it’s still excuses. Because, well, I know me. I know if I had really, really wanted to do it then I would have figured out a way.

Oh don’t get me wrong. I did add a few tweaks to some earlier chapters to incorporate some detail for a subplot. But I only added 1395 words this week which is not quite my 3500 per week goal. It is a good amount, and at least I wrote something. However, I know I can meet my goal. I know I can because I’ve done it before. I just have plant my butt in the chair and do it.

And I’ve haven’t been commenting much on blogs this week either. I’ve been reading them and enjoying them. I just haven’t been telling you all and I should be. I’ve been a slacker to my WANA  and peeps. Sorry guys! I’ll make it up to you – I promise!

The only goal I met this week was posting regularly on my blog. Amazingly enough, that was my weakest skill last round and now it seems I’ve finally gotten the hang of it. Yay! But the real question is what is keeping me from hitting the rest of them?

I know one issue I’m having. I’m stuck on a part of my current WIP and its made me quite annoyed. I can’t seem to get it where I want it. So I took some time off thinking if I step away and come back with fresh eyes and mind, then it I’d figure it out, right? Nope. Not this time, it made it worse. That made me realized that I had to dig deeper. What was the real reason for my procrastination?

Was I just being lazy?  I can’t seem to find a stride and I keep dropping all the balls I’m trying to juggle, so maybe I’m just not cut out to do this after all. I mean, everything I’ve written is OK I guess, but is it really publishable? What if I put this out there and it sucks?

Oh wait, there it is!! There’s my real reason.That ugly beast that we know so well:

Doubt.

That little sucker is devious, I tell ya. Sneaky little thing dresses up like real issues and throws itself at your feet making you trip and fall flat on your face. Yep. Its time to exercise that demon yet again.

And now that I know what I’m facing, now that I’m acknowledging that I’m struggling with the fear of rejection and failure, I can take the appropriate steps to work through it. I mean if I’ve learned anything from Kristen Lamb, it’s not to be afraid to fail. Failure can teach us a lot and those lessons lead to success. Then there’s August McLaughlin, who has shown me through her blogs about the challenges and struggles which she has overcome, that facing your fears makes you stronger.

These two remarkable women are only a couple of really great people I’ve met that are full of support and encouragement. My whole WANA team is amazing and I’m so grateful to have them in my corner. Not to mention, my family and friends are cheering me on too. If they all have faith in me, then darn it, I should too.  Therefore, this week I’m going to bring it to the best of my abilities.

So I offer you a toast:  May our paths be lighted and our troubles be few. May we conquer our fears and to our dreams stay true.

Here’s to next week, my friends – lets Rock the ROW80! Who’s with me?

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